and there's more...

The ceremonial area should have a before section, a transitional border, and an after section.

For example, if you're going from a bad situation to a greatly improved situation: You can drape the smaller before area in dark sheets and the larger after area in bright colors with lamps around it. In the before area place items that represent aspects of that experience; in the after area place items representing the positives about that new place. The middle might be a doorway hung with a heavy curtain; the act of stepping through into the bright area is the symbolic transition activity. Another transitional activity could be having the person shrink into a tight ball in the before area, and emerge standing tall with limbs outstretched when stepping into the after area.

thinking about symbols

What items could represent each stage of the transition - the before, the transition itself, and the after?

For example, you're moving to a new home: What will you be glad to leave behind, and what will you cherish about your former home, neighborhood, community? A rusty pipe can represent poor plumbing; earplugs the noisy neighbors; handful of cut grass (or weeds) the hard-to-mow lawn; a to-g- cup your favorite coffee vendor. Photos of that which is cherished could be placed in a box to keep. Props can be made, in the form of a "gas savings coupon" if the commute will lessen, or a "certificate of ownership" if the person is moving from renting to owning a home; paint or carpet samples could be appropriate.

For example, you're retiring: What are you retiring from, and how has it been for you? Rewarding, stifling, stressful? Does the act of retiring seem like a big let down, a breaking free, getting let out of a cage, or becoming lost? How will it be to leave the structure of the job? When you look forward, are you concerned about finances, excited about all the things you'll have time to do, worried about how to fill the time, concerned about how being home all the time will affect your relationship with your spouse?

What's the change, and how do you (or the person honored) feel about it? Don't assume!

getting started

Getting clear

setting the stage

Other considerations to think about include whom to invite, whether and what roles they might have, setting the tone for the ceremony, and the after party. Rite of passage ceremonies celebrate strengths and success, and they validate that the person is part of a family/community. You can stay simple or get a lot more complex. You can also purchase my book, Rites of Passage: Ceremonies to Support Life Transitions, on Amazon.com, for lots more information, guidance and inspiration!